ok, this has a long story
and it's also a fucking old picture

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once upon a time...
anthea [link] and i were in love
and it was about that time, when she asked me
"wontcha draw a septagram for me ?"
and this is when this pictures existence began.
but i did not manage to draw it to the end,
because i lost the whole picture

later, when our love had to be put to an end
due to uriel [link]
(who later turned to one of my friends)
and when some kind of friendship arose from the ashes,
she introduced me to than [link], her new boyfriend back then
and while i came to know he's a great guy,
i found that picture again and instantly felt guilty
because i simply did not do the job
so i began drawing on it again
but i also lost it the picture once again (oh why ...)
even more later, than wasnt her's no more
and our friendship also began to get smaller and smaller
because we shifted to two different, not-compatible persons
and just when i realized so
i found the picture YET AGAIN (heureka !)
and i drew on ...
but was struck by hard times,
where i needed a lot of the time for myself and for thinking,
working, getting my ass up and oh well ... you might know such shit

last month i tried to search my whole room for drawings
and i mean any drawing
because i did lots of them in my life
on paper, lesson-sheets, tissues, tables, skin, ... BLA BLA
i was pretty successfull and with all i was re-finding
this picture came along too

and still: it wasn't finished
over years my style has evolved
and many stations of this evolution can be seen in this picture
so this picture is practically a big pile of history
not just seen anthropomorphic ...

i've decided to not change it
because you can't just change history then, do you ?
and so it's finished BECAUSE it's unfinished


Anthea ...
if you read this:
you can still have it - it's yours
and it did never belong to any one else than you.
it would be a pleasure for me to just give it to you as a metaphor for sealing our past and maybe
as an attempt to revive a great amount of lost friendship.
know, that i'm shivering while uploading this peace of memory, because everything that happened and all the times i have experienced with you, uriel, than and every person linked to these three rushes
through my mind at once when looking at this.
it will become a minor part in my life the more i get older
but as i can recall and feel: it was a major part in my life back then when times weren't so goddamn strange as today

this statement shall be printed invisibly on this very picture
in remembrance

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so finally
task completed
phew
what a mass ...


additionals:

i used the best i could offer and fucking scanned it with bloodfrezing 1200 DPI
i hope that at least one person in the universe will thank me for this but anyway
the orange part of the picture has been made by a NEON-pencil in real
but for hells sake my scanner does not scan neon-colors
so i was forced to re-put the orange parts with photoshop
forgive me please

oh and
i used a black ink ballpen, a orange neon-colour pencil,
some strange green gel-ink pencil, a metallic-purple-ink pencil and a standart graphite pencil

(which is by the way outrageous for me,
cuz when do i use color ?
and when do i use more than one pencil ?
not mentioning 5 different pencils at once ...
i say - it only adds to this pictures background: it's much)


EDIT 11.10.09

such a shame ...
when i was driving bicycle
with all my stuff in my bagpack
i came through the rain
everything survived - phew
but
-like a mysterious attempt to assasinate it-
this picture had a little bit of water on it >.<
i did the best i can in terms of damage-reduction
and i succeeded in that far:
there's just a tiny spot of washed colors
really tiny
it doesn't make big difference
but i bugs me (*kicks the fridge in anger*)
aswell there's a faint recognizable rest of the place where the water was

hmpf
hope she will think over taking it nevertheless